The mumbled script

My dear dearest friend,
If I can still call you that,
You were once more than a friend,
Some many days from my past,
Wherever you are in this moment,
I will be glad to know you can stand still,
If this in case is the troubled moments,
We believe that time can still heal,
So much speaky I have been,
On how I was your true paladin,
And the eerie feelings of déjà vu,
You loved me and I kept hurting you,
Lonesomeness then did befriend me,
I had non to keep up with me,
I quaked and trembled to hear your name,
My mind rumbled that things weren't the same
I could clearly feel my each feet,
Itching on fire and brimstone,
Nothing at that moment felt right,
And I couldn't step up and move on.
Hence, is this awaited letter,
Long time deserved to be written,
To my rue,I can see more better,
And so I plea to be forgiven,
Wishy-washy I won't be,
At least you need to promise me,
If things can't go as they use to be,
You will still have guts to pardon me.